So many times you've hurt me.So many times you've fooled me.But you'll be doing it again.So many times we've spent in.Too many lives we've been in.But you're doing it again.To me the nights have fallen.The lights are on and off again.Is there a chance that you won't die.Won't die, with me tonight?.Like a shooting star to where you are.Are we too late am I too soon?.You'll make it through you've gone too far.Will you ever be my star?.I'm holding on to nothing.No reason worth for living.I'm calling out to you.If it's the only way to keep you.Then I don't want to break you.I'm losing grip again.With you the nights have fallen.The lights are on and off again.Is there a chance that you wont die.Won't die, with me tonight?.Like a shooting star to where you are.Are we too late am I too soon.You'll make it through you've gone too far.Will you ever be my star?.You're a shooting star to where you are.Are we too late am I too soon.You'll make it through you've gone too far.Will you ever be my star?.Will you ever be my star?.You're walking away.I'll be seeing you through a satellite.If you go.Then I'm walking away..
You walk down the streets and no one hears you screaming Your heart’s been battered and yet, you’re still smiling You can’t tell your friends, they wouldn’t mind Because even if you talk, they won’t understand Now, you chose to be alone but you hear them yelling That you are a loner and you are, but nothing What would you do now? Cover your eyes with the melody, heal yourself from shame Cry, cry, cry… You’ve got nothing to do… You’re alone in this world and they won’t go back to you Scream, scream, scream… You’ve got no chance to be understood Because you’re a loner and forever you would Now, you have nothing but your music on Because they left you hanging all by your own Bid goodbye to this cruel world loner, It’s not for you to stand, but for you to leave.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Where do you run to?"
Two nights ago, I was acting so childish that I, myself could not believe I acted that way. I don’t care what you will say or how you will react about this but I cried so hard. Yes, I cried so hard that I tried to cover my mouth- trying my best not to let any sound come out from my mouth because I don’t want to wake Yan2 up. Like, hello? It’s near 1 in the morning and I don’t want to disturb people just because I couldn’t sleep and I miss someone so much.
I miss Edna Mae so much.
I miss my friend so much.
I miss Nanay so much.
The feeling came so suddenly that I couldn’t help but cry. So childish, I know. But, do you know that feeling? When you suddenly want to see the person and you can’t do anything? It’s depressing, really. =(
But, I was not able to help it. I was not like that before and I just came home on Easter Sunday. Sometimes, it could really be the connection between us that makes me want to hug her. I wanted her to hug me; I wanted her to hug me while I was crying. I know that when she cradles me in her arms, like a baby, I’d stop crying. I wanted to tell anybody (promise, anybody jud pra mkuhaan ang kmingaw) that time that I miss Nanay so much and that I wanted to see her. I wanted someone to help me see her. (I know, t’was impossible and it’s crazy.)
I texted and she haven’t texted back. I texted again and there was no reply. Thank God, He gave her load yesterday- she gave me a beep and I felt better. Well, not really that better because I still wish to see her and she said she’ll come if she has time- when she’s done with a lot of things in school.
Aw? I remember someone with this song. Someone who’s in the middle of confusion now..hehe..(sorry na gud someone).
I have a friend who is in a labyrinth now. Yes, indeed a labyrinth where she’s trapped in love, friendship and dreams (chax!). She’s got somebody right now who offers her lifetime engagement. As in, LIFETIME partnership. She’s still a college student and she’s confused of what to do. When she accepts the ring, her partner will not anymore allow her to come back here in Dumaguete to continue schooling. He wants that she’d continue to study in their place. When she told me the possibility of being engaged one of these days, I could not help but laugh. She asked what my reaction would be when she tells me she’s engaged. Well, I extended my warmest congratulations. =) (what else can I offer? I was happy thinking of her being engaged).
My congratulation was a bit earlier though. She said that the engagement was just a possibility and that; she’s still confused of what to do. According to her, she really wanted to accept the engagement offered- dying to be engaged actually, but a part of her ‘daw’ wants to come back and continue her studies here and she thinks she’s got direction here than there. Aw? Yah, she said that she loves her friends more than she loves the guy. Now, she doesn’t know what to do.At the on-set, she said that she wants to fix everything in her life here- with no one around to trouble her and influence her decisions.
It indeed is a hard thing to decide on. Love or yourself? Your love or your life’s direction? (haaiiz..bakit kasi iibig-ibig pa, naguguluhan tuloy).. When you choose love, be sure to be ready for anything that goes with it (anything, as in from loosing your friends –depende- to loosing yourself-most of the time). It is because according to many, when you chose to love, the feelings are unexplainable. It could be very painful or could be very useful to you. Love has got lots of reasons for it to be worth fighting for; yet, it also has too many reasons to be forgotten. What if you get hurt? What if he/she leaves you in the middle of everything? What if he/she fails you when you already had given up everything for him/ her? Wouldn’t it be sad to just realize things when you already do not have the power and the capacity to turn everything and everyone back to ‘normal’?
On the contrary, love can also give you everything you ever wanted- security, comfort, name all nice things. Love can give it to you. It can even have people stare in your heart-shaped eyes. Love can also be an advantage. When you’re in loved, they say you can do all the wonderful things. You’d even smile without having the reasons to, because when you are in loved, you don’t recognize pain. Never will you even consider the possibility of pain because you are happy. Happy. Yes, that’s it. Love gives you happiness.
But, what will you do when you’re torn between love and your own point of happiness? Well, I suggest you weigh things. In the end, it is still you who will be facing the consequences and it’s you who will be dealing with them. When confusion reigns over your decisions, I don’t think that would be healthy. You need to give time to yourself- think of the possibilities and never hesitate to ask friends for their opinions. You ask them. In one way or another, asking is not following.=) At least you have opinions to think over while weighing things and possibilities.
Think, think, think. There’s nothing wrong with thinking anyway. In the end, it’s you who will decide what to do with your life. People are just there to help you out and design the events in your worldly existence.
Someone, think. So, there's the ring. Would you wear it?
aww?..far-out ning pagk-post..g-yawyaw..hehe..sorry na gud..
These are NUN dolls I have seen on the internet(http://www.catholichomeandgarden.com/nun_dolls.htm#GALLERY). They are real, beautiful dolls and I want to have some of them for my own. Too bad, I still don’t have the dada to buy one… = (
Ang pagiging madre ba ay talagang mahirap? Mahirap kayang magdasal buong araw sa loob ng monasteryo kasama ang kapwa madre? Mahirap ba talaga ang buhay na wala ka nang iintindihin kundi ang pagsilbihan Siya ng buo mong pagkatao (like your whole life, whole heart, whole time)? Is being a religious sister really that hard? Wala lang…just a thought.
Just the other day, I and a friend went to church. We were talking about praying, “dagkot” and those kind of stuffs when she suddenly pointed a woman to me. She said that the woman is an old maid who goes to church everyday- praying, staying there for hours. She told me that the woman was her auntie’s (who is a religious sister in Spain for more than ten years now) acquaintance. According to Caroline, her auntie told her that the woman wanted to be a religious sister, but because she’s already old, she can’t anymore have her papers processed.
I was staring at the woman- her face could pass for a nun, so innocent-looking with her age. The wrinkles on her face showed no sign of discontentment, but only of pure aging. I don’t know the woman but, in my own view of her physique, she could well pass for a nun. If only she had not been old enough to enter the convent. If only she had figured out that she doesn’t have plans of marrying, then she could have been in the convent by now- praying, facing her everyday life with the contentment of eternal service, having her head bald after saying the ‘solemn vows’.
Here’s an article from the net about how a woman becomes a religious sister:
“When a woman enters a convent she first undergoes an initial period of testing the life, known as postulancy, for a period of six months to a year. If she, and the order, determines that she may have a vocation to the life, she receives the habit of the order (usually with some modification to distinguish her from professed nuns) and undertakes the novitiate, a period (that lasts one to two years) of living the life of a nun without yet taking vows. Upon completion of this period she may take her initial, temporary vows. Temporary vows last one to three years, typically, and will be professed for not less than three years and not more than six. Finally, she will petition to make her "perpetual profession", taking permanent, solemn vows”.
I have been thinking of how hard it is to be a religious sister. I am wondering of the life they have in the cloister. What do they do when they are there? Are they just praying the whole day? What do they eat? Are they allowed to use the telephone? The computers? Are they allowed to see their families? Are their lives still as normal as our lives? (aw?sorry na gud sisters).
These religious sisters have made the years in the convents. They have spent life without seeing half of the world. They have stayed inside their monasteries without seeing the people they have been used to seeing everyday of their "ordinary" lives. I think that the life that a religious sister has is very challenging. Not only because she is prohibited to things that people outside the convents are in to, but also because when a woman decides to enter the monastery, her faith is tested. I say that a woman who chooses to answer their calling of becoming a religious sister is brave- braver than any other woman in this material world.
There are only a few who devotes their whole life serving the Lord. There are only a few who could stand life inside the convent. There are only a few who could bravely enter the convents without- of course, turning back.
"A Nun is a woman who has taken special vows committing her to a religious life. She may be an ascetic who voluntarily chooses to leave mainstream society and live her life in prayer and contemplation in a monastery or convent. The term "nun" is applicable to Roman Catholics, Eastern Christians, Anglicans, Lutherans, Jains, Buddhists, and Taoists, for example. While in common usage the terms nun and sister are often used interchangeably, properly speaking a nun is a female religious who lives a contemplative life of prayer and meditation within a monastery while a sister (in the Christian religions) lives an active vocation of service to the needy, sick, poor, and uneducated."
"Nuns properly so-called have solemn vows with a strict enclosure, regulated by pontifical law which prevents the religious from going out (except in very rare cases, approved by the regular superior and the bishop), and also the entrance of strangers, even females, under pain of excommunication. Even admission to the grated parlor is not free, and interviews with regulars are subject to stringent rules. Though some mitigations have been introduced partly by local usage, partly (in the case ofcertain convents in America) by express concession of the Holy See. The building should be so arranged that the inner courts and gardens cannot be overlooked from outside, and the windows should not open on the public road".