am i?iam..

Am I still not over you? Over us?

I should and I know that. But, why can’t I completely let you go?

This is so stupid of me- to still give you that piece after everything you’ve done. I hate you, you should know that and you should never forget that. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. And I should hate you for all these. You broke every word you said and I used to believe that I’m done with my pains with you. I used to think that with this new love, I would never stare back at you again.

I shouldn’t be staring back, even though I can see that you’re sad and you need a hand. No. I shouldn’t, I couldn’t. You have been hurting me since the day you left and slapped my face with the hurt of your betrayal. You chose her over me and I don’t mean to be hurt so bad. You tore every piece of my being and I can’t forget it. I’ve forgiven you, but the way you lied to me? I could never forget.

I used to think I’m ready to face you after all, but, I guess the scar hasn’t completely healed. When I tried to touch it once, it bled again, a little. Healing takes time and in my case, I guess, it would take years.

I found him now and you ought to know. He takes good care of me, much better than the way you did before. He loves me the tenderest way he can. He gives me songs I can cry and smile with him whenever we plug our earphones on. He loves me, much more than you loved me.

But you also need to know; I still smile and cry when I remember you. I loved you once, I do not want to love you again.

I am over us.

Am I?